1
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,040
This is the worst part of my job, you know.

2
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,720
I do not want to lose a good man.

3
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,391
But it's out of my hands,

4
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:42,593
and if it were in my hands,
my hands are tied. It's nothing personal...

5
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,392
Why am I getting fired?

6
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,795
You're not getting fired. It's redundancy.

7
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:51,675
Cutbacks being what they are,
you are one of the unlucky ones.

8
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,030
Or one of the lucky ones in my opinion!

9
00:00:56,360 --> 00:01:00,433
David, why, when there are
three other forklift operators,

10
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,074
do you decide to fire me and not Anton?

11
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,475
Is this positive discrimination?

12
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,875
Do you have disability quotas to fill?

13
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,831
I don't know what you mean.

14
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,474
Are you keeping Anton on
because he's disabled?

15
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,955
- Anton's not disabled.
- He's a midget.

16
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:19,517
Yeah, but you're not disabled
if you're a midget. That's just small.

17
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,473
Ronnie corbett doesn't
get special treatment.

18
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,273
He's five foot. Anton's three foot four.

19
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,313
So are some children.
Children aren't disabled, are they?

20
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,431
Children don't work in warehouses.

21
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,235
Look, whether or not Anton
is indeed a midget or a dwarf...

22
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,591
- No, he's a midget.
- What's the difference?

23
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,433
A dwarf has
disproportionately short arms and legs.

24
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,676
Oh, I know the ones.

25
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,870
It's caused by a hormone deficiency.

26
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,877
Yeah. Bloody hormones.

27
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,754
A midget is still a dwarf,
but their arms and legs are in proportion.

28
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,029
So what's an elf?

29
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,798
Do you want to answer that?

30
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,514
An elf is a supernatural being.

31
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:11,438
Sometimes they're invisible, like fairies.

32
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,831
They don't actually exist, do they?
In real life?

33
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,110
Do you think I enjoy this?
It's been imposed upon me.

34
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,515
"It's been imposed upon me!"

35
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,108
Yeah. What do you want
me to say, I'm sorry?

36
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,390
Yeah. I want you to say you're sorry.

37
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,556
Apologise and stop passing the buck!

38
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,434
I'm not passing the buck.
This is someone else's decision.

39
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,199
- Go above my head if you want.
- Oh, I will.

40
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:04,074
- Good luck. It's your prerogative.
- Yeah, it is. My prerogative.

41
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,397
- So is a pixie the same as an elf?
- Hold on, gareth.

42
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,876
I just want to know
how he knows so much about midgets.

43
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,396
It's called an education.

44
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,997
- So what's a goblin?
- How long will you be?

45
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,112
I know I probably seem
an imposing figure now -

46
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,674
you know, the slick boss -

47
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,553
but get to know me, you'll see I'm mad.

48
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,557
I brought that in.

49
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:44,954
So...

50
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,231
Oh, here we go.

51
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,313
Malcolm.

52
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:53,069
This is Malcolm.
This is Karen roper, my new secretary.

53
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,715
You can all use her -
as the actress said to the bishop.

54
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,036
- Nice to meet you.
- Hello.

55
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,994
David, can I just ask why
you've hired yourself a new secretary

56
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,078
when you're having to
fire people like Alex?

57
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,270
Different people, different jobs.

58
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:13,793
To whit, the answer to the question,
is it people or task

59
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,876
is - well, you know - people.

60
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,676
Like this person. Kojak.

61
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,837
- David, what I want to know...
- Kojak we call him.

62
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,677
..Am I going to be fired?
When will we know?

63
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:33,590
Good question. Jennifer is coming in
midday today, greenwich mean time.

64
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,793
She will have the verdict then. Ok.
I was just keeping the troops happy.

65
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,673
They'd be happier if they
knew they'd got jobs.

66
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,119
Yeah.

67
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,950
I'm thinking of other
weird-looking bald people.

68
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,036
That one on Benny hill?

69
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:51,559
Oh, yeah.

70
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,989
I don't know if you met Tim.
He's thinking of leaving.

71
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,111
He's feeling bad about himself.

72
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,028
I'm going to make him feel good
about himself, turn it round.

73
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:15,319
You know. Look and learn.
So... Timothy!

74
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,791
- Hi.
- Can I have a quick word?

75
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,036
In the office. Walk this way.

76
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,912
Quack, quack, quack!

77
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,996
Always start with a joke.

78
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,116
You might want to make notes.

79
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,879
Hiya. Come in.

80
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,756
- How are you?
- All right, thanks.

81
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,872
You don't mind if Karen sits in
to learn the ropes?

82
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,070
No, not at all. What are we doing?

83
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,476
I wanted to know
why you're thinking of leaving, mate.

84
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,073
I'm not thinking of leaving, I am leaving.

85
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,474
Sure. Sure.

86
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,275
I don't mean to stitch anyone up,
but it's nothing I've said?

87
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,756
- Not at all, David. No.
- Definitely not. No way.

88
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,838
I don't want to put words in your mouth,

89
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,793
but what sort of a boss would you say I am?

90
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,831
- I'm a...
- Good boss, yeah.

91
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,474
- He said good.
- No. You're a great boss.

92
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,194
It's just that I'm not in a position...

93
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,392
It's not because you asked dawn out
and she said no?

94
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,795
I didn't ask her out. It was as a friend.

95
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,992
It was as a friend. Put friend.
Put friend down.

96
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,429
So why the move?

97
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,113
- It's not one thing...
- Go on.

98
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,196
- Can I...?
- Sure.

99
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:35,755
Ok. I don't really enjoy the work
I do here. I'm sorry, but...

100
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,918
I feel a little bit like
I'm wasting my time.

101
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,032
- That life's too short.
- Exactly. Thank you.

102
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,515
Let's be honest, David, I am 3o.

103
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,596
I want to retire with
some stories to tell.

104
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,599
Not about paper.

105
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,360
I've got paper stories
that'll crack you up.

106
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,119
- That's true. Hilarious.
- Put hilarious.

107
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,117
- Shall I go on?
- How many are there?

108
00:06:56,320 --> 00:07:00,472
It's like an alarm clock's gone off
and I've just got to get away.

109
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,716
I think it was John Lennon who said...

110
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,111
"Life is what happens
when you're making other plans."

111
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,276
That's how I feel.

112
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,831
Though he also said,
"I am the walrus, I am the eggman",

113
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,916
so I don't know what to believe!

114
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,555
- David, listen...
- No, you listen to me, "Tim".

115
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,673
When you first came here,
you didn't know about the paper industry.

116
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,156
I showed you the ropes,
nurtured you, gave you a good job.

117
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,669
- That he doesn't want!
- I didn't ask you.

118
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,997
- You asked me how I felt...
- I don't want to know now.

119
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,350
This has been a waste of time. Yeah.

120
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:40,519
Why don't you both go and do some work
instead of whinging, please?

121
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,392
- This is silly...
- No, go on.

122
00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:46,479
Don't say out there what you said
in here, apart from the good boss.

123
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,798
I don't want you spreading bad vibes
around my office, all right?

124
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,877
Don't be like that at the party!

125
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,236
You try and do a good deed...

126
00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:59,918
And that...

127
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,393
You all right?

128
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,839
Yeah. Hello.

129
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,275
Are you going to the party?

130
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,278
Yeah, yeah. Of course. I wouldn't miss it.

131
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,436
- And you?
- Er, yes.

132
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,879
Good.

133
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,599
Hooray.

134
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,996
- See you later.
- Yeah.

135
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,756
<i>(Dawn) I hope they get rl</i>'<i>d of me,</i>

136
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,838
then I might get off my
arse and do something.

137
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:44,272
I don't think it's many little
girls' dream to be a receptionist.

138
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,629
I don't know what I'll do,
but it's got to be a career move

139
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,796
and not just another arbitrary job.

140
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,239
Um...

141
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:57,751
Tim says it's better to be at the foot
of a ladder you want to climb

142
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,836
than halfway up one you don't.

143
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,197
But I don't... I just don't
want to be treading water

144
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,790
and wake up in five years and say,
"shit! Done it again."

145
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,596
(Grating whirring noise)

146
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,832
Do you think you could...?

147
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,111
Could you not do that here, mate?
Not do that here?

148
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,196
I've got to do it, mate. Really.

149
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,115
No chance you could throw it in the bin?

150
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,913
Yeah, and I'll take them round
to rival companies and hand them out.

151
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,396
Good point, but could you throw it
in the bin?

152
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:47,312
Gareth, can you keep it down a bit?

153
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,396
- Hmm?
- Can you stop it?

154
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,435
Yeah. I'll just do it like this.

155
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,910
- Hiya.
- Hi, David. Are you ready?

156
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,314
Yeah.

157
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,036
- Who's she?
- Don't know.

158
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,959
I promised you some kind of answer today.

159
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:26,358
I don't think it's the one you're
expecting. Firstly, I'm moving on.

160
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,871
- Have you been fired?
- No. I've been made into a partner.

161
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:36,193
They've made you a partner?
That'll be wernham hogg Taylor Clark.

162
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,356
They'll have to change the stationery.

163
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,836
- I think we'll get a discount.
- 4o% sometimes.

164
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,394
The point is, my job is now available

165
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,990
and the board thought
that you or Neil should do it.

166
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:54,475
I can tell you the board have voted
5-2 in favour of you taking it.

167
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,996
Voted for me 5-2?
There's only seven on the board.

168
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,759
Five out of seven. That's a landslide.

169
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,632
- David...
- Go on.

170
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:08,594
You've made it clear that
you're 1oo% committed to your branch.

171
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,759
You do understand that if you take
on my job, Neil will stay in swindon

172
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,077
and your branch will be downsized
and incorporated into his?

173
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,474
Yup.

174
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,239
I know that you're loyal to your family...

175
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,670
I'd be loyal to the whole family.
It's one big family.

176
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:28,316
I just know that you have strong
emotional ties to your team.

177
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:33,468
Yeah, but there is the emotion as
"good in business" syndrome, sure,

178
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,115
notwithstanding the cruel
to be kind scenario...

179
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,832
Sorry, you've lost me.

180
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,669
You're not looking at the whole pie.
Wernham hogg is one big pie

181
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,473
and if I'm in charge of that big pie,

182
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,672
I'll be in charge of...
The people are the fruit.

183
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,394
I don't have time for the pie thing, David.

184
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,114
I'm saying, ok, I'll take the job, please.

185
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:58,153
Good. Ok. The first step
is to meet with Alan and the board.

186
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,477
Yup. What's five out of
seven as a percentage?

187
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,919
Er...7o%.

188
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,679
71.4. So...

189
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,952
Call Susan and arrange to meet the board
and finalise all the details.

190
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,036
Congratulations and good luck.

191
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:16,119
You don't need luck when you've got
71% of the population behind you.

192
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,912
She's still here.

193
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,992
Bye, Jennifer.

194
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,231
- What do you think?
- He looked all right.

195
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,554
- How did it go?
- What did she say?

196
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,033
Fine.

197
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,878
What's the damage?

198
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,158
It's complicated.

199
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,794
- Are you going to tell us?
- Yeah.

200
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:49,999
David?

201
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,199
(Door shuts)

202
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,793
(Knocking)

203
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,997
We'd like to know now.

204
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,111
Ok. All right.

205
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,319
Ok. Gather.

206
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:13,229
Um... Well, there's
good news and bad news.

207
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,751
The bad news is Neil
will be taking over both branches

208
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,996
and some of you will lose your jobs.

209
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:25,597
Those of you who are kept on
will have to relocate to swindon...

210
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,158
I know, I know. Gutting. Gutting.

211
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,958
You didn't see me.

212
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:39,159
On a more positive note,
the good news is I've been promoted.

213
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,718
So... every cloud...

214
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,189
You're still thinking about the bad news.

215
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,915
There's no good news.
It's bad news and irrelevant news.

216
00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,318
That's not a phrase though.
"I've got bad news and irrelevant news."

217
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,399
You could have told us about Neil
and kept your promotion to yourself.

218
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,317
Or told you the good news first...

219
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,590
There is no good news, David.

220
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,110
I think promotion is generally
considered good news.

221
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,676
- We're going to lose our jobs!
- You're not all going to.

222
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,153
God! Just...

223
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:20,750
You're not going to lose your job.
You're not going to.

224
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,916
You know... you're not going to.

225
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,350
So just get it in perspective, yeah?

226
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,234
Come on.

227
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,555
You know there's only seven people
on the board...

228
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,353
When are the rest of us going to find out?

229
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,799
I can't believe it.
After all the things he said, it's just...

230
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,558
I'm in shock.

231
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,239
Sold us out.

232
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,839
Wanker.

233
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,560
What? David Brent's leaving?

234
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,591
So you're definitely leaving?

235
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,391
Yup, it would appear so.

236
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,797
What about us?

237
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,798
- There's nothing between us.
- Not like that.

238
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,831
But we're a team.

239
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,076
I'm assistant regional manager.

240
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,953
- Assistant to the regional manager.
- Yeah.

241
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:30,074
So I can still be your assistant
if you're going off to the...?

242
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,318
No. I'll be getting a
proper assistant - a p.A.

243
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,271
- A lady?
- Hopefully, yeah.

244
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,436
Not 'cause of that, just...

245
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:42,951
What about Neil? Does he need an...?
I could be his assistant.

246
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,275
Neil's bringing his man with him.

247
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,517
Bloody good guy. Bloke
called Terry someone.

248
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,676
You'd like him. He's ex-army.

249
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,199
Territorial?

250
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,393
- No.
- Regular?

251
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,033
Yeah.

252
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,553
- What rank?
- Sergeant, I think.

253
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,592
What are you?

254
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,119
Lieutenant, sir.

255
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,593
Anyway...

256
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,391
That's it, then, is it?

257
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,476
The old team on the scrapheap.

258
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,552
It's all gone.

259
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,716
Gareth... come on.

260
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:26,119
You're a soldier. Yeah? Eh? Yeah?

261
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,356
Stiff upper lip and all that, eh?

262
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:33,110
Spirit of the dambusters. Yeah?
The squadron never dies, does it?

263
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,758
- Seen that film?
- Yeah. I've got it on video.

264
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,518
Well then, yeah?

265
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,030
Before he goes into battle,
he's playing with his dog.

266
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,196
- Nigger.
- That's not offensive.

267
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:48,029
That's the dog's name.
It's the '4os, before racism was bad.

268
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,993
- The dog was called nigger.
- Don't keep saying it.

269
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,679
Eh?

270
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,996
So, take anything.

271
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:06,113
Choose one thing.
Choose a memento. From me to you.

272
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,356
- Take anything you want.
- To keep?

273
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,675
- Yup.
- I'll have the guitar.

274
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,190
Not the guitar. I meant stationery.
Something I can re-order.

275
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,311
The hole punch. That's always handy.

276
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,876
- All right?
- Yeah?

277
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,671
Bloody good one, that.

278
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,398
Like confetti.

279
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,911
Could be used as confetti, yeah.

280
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,114
Check with the vicar first, always.

281
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,273
Don't get it on the carpet, gareth.

282
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,393
- It's just...
- Put it there.

283
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,110
I don't see it as letting people down.

284
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,791
If we're a family, it's time to let them
stand on their own two feet.

285
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:01,754
You can be sure that if they were
in my position, they'd take the job.

286
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,952
"Thanks for the opportunity
and the great jokes."

287
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,275
You know, this is a business.

288
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,915
I'm not doing this
for an Esther rantzen heart of gold,

289
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:15,238
or if Esther's handing out awards,
then do it for my charity work.

290
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,999
Five fun runs in two years.

291
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:22,716
So why don't you ask Philippa Norris
or Simon Coleman at mencap

292
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,796
what they think of David Brent?

293
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:30,955
So...

294
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,918
(Rock band plays)

295
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:41,035
It's the end of the financial year
and spirits are in the sky.

296
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,879


297
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,479


298
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,989


299
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,875


300
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:56,389
You're all smug now.
You're moving away. But think of me.

301
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,476
The shoe could be on the other foot.

302
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:02,718
- You're going to be all right.
- Yeah. I work hard. I earn my keep.

303
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,992
Unfortunately, the history books
are full of just people

304
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:12,478
who toil and fight for worthy causes
and the freedom of others and...

305
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,592
That's the most profound
thing you've ever said.

306
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,838
You do that and foreigners,
women or the disabled take advantage of it.

307
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,916
Can I withdraw my last comment?

308
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,631
- What do you think of her?
- A bit out of your league.

309
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,910
- Definitely.
- No. Smug.

310
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:31,430
You think you're so...
Just 'cause you got a bit of Donna,

311
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,552
and I played by the rules
'cause she was out of bounds.

312
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,753
You sneaked in. I'd have got a bit
if I'd known it was up for grabs.

313
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,839
I'd have done her, but that would
be shitting on your own doorstep.

314
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,916
Anyway, I don't do sloppy seconds.

315
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:49,079
It's phrases like sloppy seconds
which make her out of your league.

316
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:56,394

on sunshine

317
00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:05,159

sunshine

318
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,077


319
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,760


320
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,358

Yeah...

321
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,592
(Music stops)

322
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,278
Hello!

323
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,076
Welcome, everybody. A few things.

324
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,590
See the raffle there? That's
going to start later.

325
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,712
You can win a printer.
Something I'd bloody love.

326
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,158
Although if I won it,
I'd give it to charity or something,

327
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,350
but that's... no pressure.

328
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,675
Good luck to Ricky,

329
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,838
who's off pursuing his
career starting Monday.

330
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,599
Have we got him a gift or something?

331
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,590
You haven't been here long.

332
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,678
Should have seen
what we got Pete Gibbons. Oooh!

333
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,553
He'll tell you. We all remember that. So...

334
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,432
Just come from a meeting at head office,

335
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,874
where I was officially
offered the job as uk manager.

336
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:07,839
As you know, taking that job means
a lot of you will lose your jobs,

337
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,757
and I'd just like to say...

338
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,394
I told them to shove their
job up their arses!

339
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,160
- So you're staying here?
- Yes. We all are.

340
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,794
We'll incorporate swindon. So...

341
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,515
Hip hip hooray for David Brent! Hip hip...

342
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,039
(Scattered applause)

343
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,118
Stop it. Seriously. Move on. Let's move on.

344
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,629
So have a good... let's rock!

345
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,275
Smashey and nicey!
Put the record on when I do that.

346
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:38,874
Clumsy.

347
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,874
(Music: "Sex bomb" by tom Jones)

348
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,352


349
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,269

when I need to come along

350
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:53,431



351
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,950

turn me on...

352
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,957
(Music: "Tragedy" by steps)

353
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,196
- Tim!
- All right, mate?

354
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,392
- Did you ask my girlfriend out?
- Eh? No.

355
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,636
- You hit on someone's girlfriend?
- No.

356
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,149
- I can't let that go.
- No. Listen...

357
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,589
- We've got a problem.
- No, we haven't.

358
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,996
- What are we going to do?
- Lee, I asked her out as a friend.

359
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,076
It was just a soldier to cry on.

360
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,679
- A soldier?
- Shoulder.

361
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,995
A soldier? Are you bent or something?

362
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,313
- Is this a wind-up?
- Yeah. Sorry, mate.

363
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,398
- Don't do that, man!
- Having a laugh. I'm sorry.

364
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,193
- She's a good-looking girl.
- Yeah, she is.

365
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,513


366
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:41,037

and you can't go on, it's tragedy

367
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,674

and you don't know why

368
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,509


369
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,551


370
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,870

and you've got no soul

371
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,832


372
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,190

and your heart just dies

373
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,835


374
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,473


375
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,270
(Music: "The only way is up" by yazz)

376
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:24,233
That's the thing about leadership.
Sometimes you sacrifice yourself.

377
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,676
We just wanted to say that was
a really good thing you did.

378
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,153
Really impressive.

379
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,953
I'd prefer your respect
individually, but cheers.

380
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,036
You've got our respect individually.

381
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:39,073
I'd believe that if he
hadn't jumped on top of you.

382
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,475
- Actually, I was on top!
- All right.

383
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,556
We just wanted to say well done.

384
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,516
And they probably did oral.

385
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,160
All right? Enjoying the party?

386
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,470
So they offered you the job?

387
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,513
Yeah. The thing is I've been
with this nutty lot way too long

388
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,519
to sell them down the
river, so not interested.

389
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,632
It's just that I was
speaking to Paula and she...

390
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,512
- Paula?
- Alan's assistant.

391
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:16,599
She thinks you didn't take the job
not because you didn't want it,

392
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,679
but because you failed the medical
because of high blood pressure.

393
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:26,756
Ask yourself why I got high blood
pressure on the day of the medical.

394
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,668
Are you saying you cheated science
and faked high blood pressure

395
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,836
so you could remain in the job?

396
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,952
- You've got to ask yourself that.
- Did you?

397
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,073
What's worse - cheating
medical science or cheating friends?

398
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,830
The board of directors said,
"David, you're the best man for the job.

399
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,315
"We won't take no for an answer.

400
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,672
"Oh, you failed the medical.
Oh, all right, stay with your..."

401
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,839
For all your mole knows,
they may or may not have said that to me.

402
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,996
They may or may not have.

403
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:02,079
So you faked high blood pressure
in order to fail a medical test?

404
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,279
Oh, no.

405
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,958
See you later.

406
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,193
(Music: "I'm not in love" by 1occ)

407
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,953


408
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,796


409
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,553


410
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,269


411
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,030


412
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,470


413
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:02,238


414
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:07,555


415
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,548


416
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,436
So when are you leaving me?

417
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,869
It probably won't be for quite a while.

418
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,912
- Autumn?
- Probably not.

419
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,959
Oh. I thought you wanted
to go back to university.

420
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,072
Yeah, I will, but there's
a slight change of plan.

421
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,239
Oh, right.

422
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,514
David's made me senior sales clerk.

423
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:38,794
Wow.

424
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,073
One...

425
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,714
I thought you wanted to be a psychologist.

426
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,718
Oh, yeah. But senior sales clerk is...

427
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,913
Well, it's 5oo quid
guaranteed extra a year.

428
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,316
If I do a bit of networking,
then there's every chance

429
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,398
I could be in David's chair
in three years. So...

430
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:03,836
Um... all that talk about,
like, moving on in the world...

431
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,235
No. Moving up. Yeah? Moving up.

432
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:10,512
Moving up can mean
within an internal ladder, framework,

433
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,234
or sideways to external, then up.

434
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:17,433
You've got to look at the whole pie
vis-�-vis my current life situation.

435
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,551
Vis-�...? Pie...?

436
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,669
Which means, of course,
that my old job is free.

437
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,595
So, you know... have a word.

438
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,119
Timothy!

439
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,994
(Music: "True" by spandau ballet)

440
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,719
You grow up, you work half a century,
you get a golden handshake,

441
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,479
you rest a couple of
years, and you're dead.

442
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,990
The only thing that makes
that crazy ride worthwhile is

443
00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:08,477
"did I enjoy it? What was
the point?" That's where I come in.

444
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,956
You've seen how I react to people,
make them feel good,

445
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,719
make them think that anything's possible.

446
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,559
If I make them laugh along the way, sue me.

447
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:22,874
I don't do it so they say,
"thank you for the opportunity.

448
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,310
"Thank you for the wisdom.
Thank you for the laughs."

449
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,877
I do it so one day, someone will go,
"there goes David Brent.

450
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,117
"I must remember to thank him."

451
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,913


452
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:51,119


453
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,913


454
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:58,272

so you could buy.